Anyone who has ever struggled with motherhood and career should read “Mommy Wars.” It’s a collection of a couple dozen essays about motherhood and work and trying to make sense of it all. The main thing I took away from it: There is no perfect answer, no end to the mommy wars.
Yet many of us moms think about the juggle a lot, so it’s worth reading a book dedicated to its discussion. Most of the essays are honest, compelling and inspiring. If anything, they help remind us that we aren’t alone in our struggles, doubts and nagging thoughts about whether we’re doing the right thing.
I’m probably a perfect target audience for this book, because most of the essays were by journalists or writers. Just as they felt like writing about their internal — or, in some cases, external — mommy wars, I feel compelled to blog about it. Just as some of them feel that tug-of-war between career and motherhood, I feel the need to have both.
Some excerpts of note:
An excerpt from an essay written by Inda Schanen, a writer and part-time teacher:
(My daughter) has her eye on me, and we talk openly about the trade-offs a woman makes when she decides to have children. I’ve told her that she cannot have everything at once, and that she will have to own up to the consequences of the choices she makes.
An excerpt from an essay written by Carolyn Hax, who writes a Washington Post advice column:
Would you want to be your kid? … Own up. Then make peace with your choices from there.
An excerpt from an essay by Molly Jong-Fast, an author. I’ll come back to this issue of class in another post.
Max’s nanny, Audrey, doesn’t obsess about working or not working because she knows she has to — not because of self-esteem but for the old-fashioned reason, for the money. Audrey is a first-generation American, and she does not have the luxury of grappling with identity and self-esteem.
An excerpt from an essay by Catherine Clifford, a former writer and editor.
I don’t understand why taking care of one’s own children is considered hopelessly tedious or brain-deadening.
and
A good mother is a good mother, working or not, just as a crummy one is crummy whether she’s home all the time or hardly at all.
