Thinkingmama

An article in the New York Times titled “Prepping Children for the 9 to 5” explores the messages about jobs and working that children receive from their parents. It’s certainly something I’ve thought of before, as I wondered about what my daughter would think about her own work choices if she grew up watching me be a stay-at-home mom. Now that I’m working outside the home again, I feel better, at least so far. She will have an idea of what it’s like to be a professional, and I hope to send mostly positive messages about what that entails. Especially since I sometimes work from home, my daughter will definitely see what holding a job is like.

Even though I can’t say any job I’ve ever had has filled all my needs, here’s what I hope to instill in my daughter about working: Work to learn, to experience, to interact with others, to seek fulfillment, not just to earn a paycheck.

I’ve also thought about my own parents’ attitudes about their jobs.

My parents have held professional jobs as long as I’ve been alive. My dad once told me he found his job boring; it seemed to me he went into the accounting field because it was something he was good at or found easy but not something he was passionate about. (I know there’s a joke in there somewhere. But there are people who are passionate about accounting!) I wonder if he would choose a different career if he had the chance.

My mom worked all the time, especially when I was growing up. She worked a day job, plus sold everything from vacuums to real estate at night. Did I appreciate her hard work? Yes. But I also distinctly remember that she was always stressed out and didn’t spend much time with me or my sisters. Now that she has cut back on work (she only has the day job), she is much more relaxed and easier to get along with. Of course, her newfound bliss could also have to do with the fact that she and my dad don’t have to support any of their kids anymore. When I think about it that way, it makes me realize she was working only for the money, just to help support her family. And I understand it’s this way in many families.

Still, I hope my husband and I are able to teach our daughter that she should seek a meaningful career, something that will make her happy to go to work each day.