Thinkingmama

It’s not the first time I’ve ever felt like I wanted or needed to be in two places at once, but this is the first time it has felt this way. I’m getting ready to go back to work after almost six months with my baby, and it’s tough. It’s emotional.

I’m excited because my new job will be journalism-related, and it will allow me to expand my skills and experience. I also have several other good reasons for going back to work. But now I notice I’m holding my baby just a little bit tighter and kissing her a bit more often. It will be a difficult adjustment for us both. But I’m hoping that because she will be cared for by my mother-in-law three days a week, the two of them will form a special bond that will only serve to enrich both their lives. That’s the way I’m trying to look at it, instead of thinking that something’s been taken away from us. I will still be her mother; she will still be my daughter.

On a somewhat related note, my 4-year-old nephew told my sister, “Mom, you can quit your job and work from home, like Auntie!” He was referring to me, because he knew I was freelancing before my new job came along. It can just break your heart — a child’s innocent wondering about why his mom can’t stay home with him.