September 13, 2008
This post from the Juggle touches on what many working parents must feel about how much time their kids spend at daycare. I’m reminded of my conversations with my sister, a new mom who recently went back to work. She and her husband take my niece to daycare, and my sister swears the baby wouldn’t smile at them during the first week. It could be that it’s just something my sister is imagining because she feels guilty, or it might be true. Either way, it’s not fun beating yourself up over it. We all make our choices — many of them tough — and we all have to live with the consequences.
I’ve mentioned before how fortunate I am that my mother-in-law takes care of my baby while I work. Even when I’m working from home, my daughter is picked up by her grandmother and spends most of the day with her. I am of course grateful, and feel secure in knowing my baby’s being cared for by someone who loves her. But I still feel pangs of guilt that I don’t get to spend nearly enough time as I’d like with her. And I don’t know if those will ever go away.
Keep reading →
September 1, 2008
Sarah Palin for vice president? A mother of five with a 5-month-old with Down syndrome and — this just in — a pregnant 17-year-old daughter. Now that seems to be the ultimate can-she-do-it-all test. What’s interesting is people from both sides of the political spectrum don’t seem to be falling in line with what’s expected regarding this issue.
Putting aside that as a liberal I don’t agree with most of Palin’s politics and think she doesn’t have the experience for the job, I regret that her ability to become vice president — and possibly president — is being questioned because she is a mom with many kids and seems to lead a hectic enough life. (What with the hunting and the ice-fishing and all.) I mean, she does have a husband. Three of her kids look to be grown, or at least mostly self-sufficient. Keep reading →
August 25, 2008
Before House Speaker Nancy Pelosi became a politician, she was a stay-at-home mom. She ran for office only after the youngest of her five children was ready to go to college. Common knowledge. But she and two daughters were interviewed for an article in the San Francisco Chronicle today, and I just had to write about this:
Alexandra cited the difference between her life and her mother’s – “I work. And when I go to work, I think work is a break from my family” – Pelosi smiled at the notion that family life isn’t work. “She doesn’t remember how much work it was,” she said of raising such a large family.
Sort of ironic that Pelosi’s daughter would utter something like that. I wonder if it was just an offhanded remark, and whether Pelosi’s “smile” was genuine. Five kids? That’s what I call work. And to reach such political heights after her first career as a stay-at-home mom? Sounds like even more work.
August 24, 2008
I just love it when a person looking back on his or her own success talks about how others just don’t know how good they have it. People like this imply that somehow, nobody else works as hard as they do, or that their struggles were unique. As if others nowadays don’t work hard enough to try to get ahead. As if women still don’t face obstacles in getting hired. Promoted. Taken seriously. Here’s a female Wall Street Journal reporter who blames the decline of women in senior executive jobs on “complacent women.”
Keep reading →
August 17, 2008
My household is gearing up to move to another house. I’ve got a whole week’s “vacation” from work, but what it really means is packing, packing, cleaning, cleaning. If you read my previous post, it’s not easy trying to fit all this in. Moving is stressful enough, but with a (now-sick) baby to take care of, this week and the next few after that will be quite an adventure.
So it got me thinking. What kind of advice is there online about coping with a move when you have a baby? Here’s a sampling of what I found:
Moving with Baby: Tells me to be calm so my baby stays calm. Om.
Move and Relocate with a Baby: Tells me to keep baby happy. Hmm, sounds familiar.
Moving with Baby in Tow: Tells me to enlist the help of family and friends. And to take care of myself, so the baby will be OK, too. And this I love, and must do: One of the subheads says “Accept the chaos.”
August 9, 2008
This Cheapskate column titled “We Managed to Sell our Home and Keep our Marriage Intact” from the Wall Street Journal hit home for me — no pun intended. Columnist Neal Templin talks about the stress that selling their home put on his marriage. His wife wanted to spend money to get the house sold; he didn’t. On top of that, they were moving from Dallas to New York. And of course, they have kids.
I’m not in the exact same boat. We’re moving into a house, but we didn’t have to sell one. We don’t have to move out of state. Neither one of us is switching jobs. (And I don’t work for the Wall Street Journal, although it would be nice.) But we do have work to do on the house before we move in. Lots of big and little things to take care of. And we both have full-time jobs, a couple of freelancing gigs plus of course the full-time job that is our baby. So my husband and I are both plenty tired and irritable and stressed out about the sheer amount of what we have to accomplish and the sheer amount of money we’re spending. I hope pretty soon I’m writing a blog post titled “We Managed to Move into our Home and Keep our Marriage Intact.”
August 5, 2008
A 4-year-old girl was left behind at a Tel Aviv airport recently as her mom, dad and four siblings rushed to catch a plane to Paris. The family had something like 18 suitcases, was rushing around and reportedly didn’t realize the girl was missing till they were informed by the pilot about an hour later. The girl was found safe and all is well again. Well, except the parents may now be charged with negligence. (For a Home Alone reference, see “How not to leave your child at the airport.”)
I could be horrified and judgmental and say stuff like “How could they?” But I won’t. I can’t even pretend to know what their lives are like. Although I come from a big family, it’s unfathomable to me how I could manage a household of five kids when having one is such a huge deal, and extremely chaotic. And I certainly can’t imagine what “going on holiday” would be like with all those people. Still, I hope those parents don’t get too much grief; they’re probably overjoyed their child is safe but overwhelmed by all the negative publicity their mistake has brought.
July 30, 2008
Fascinating read in last week’s New York Times about how economists and the government have realized that the women who have recently “opted out” of the workforce weren’t necessarily doing it wholeheartedly — the poor economy was a big factor. In other words, they were forced out of the workforce. Some stay-at-home moms are staying home because they can’t get decent jobs outside the home. Companies are laying off workers, pay is stagnant or even falling, things aren’t looking good. And according to the article, women from all walks of life are affected, about just as much as men. There’s enough pain to go around.
Keep reading →
